Saturday, 18 February 2012

Love and the celebratory day of “St Valentines”

Valentine’s day is most traditionally associated with romantic love.
Romantic love is a spontanieos ,  hedonistic state that is so potent it has been forever expressed into songs, poetry and stories.
From Romeo and Juliet to the modern day Titanic story, the theme is unchanging and globally enjoyed with enthusiasm.
Passionate displays of tears can be seen and felt from the audiences wrapped in the perceivable experience of emotion and all this at the mere suggestion  of a love story that all know is fictional?!
Romantic love is thought to be the second most influential driving force in life second only in the human psyche to self survival, but even self preservation falls casualty to romantic love on occasion. Passionate stories of star crossed lovers being painfully separated pervade the classic ghost stories of lore where one or both lovers die, tragically unable to bear being apart from the other .
The belief in the mysterious soul mate still holds sway even in the heart of today’s modern minds, even people who often reject the idea of religious beliefs often still hold this secret longing at heart .
Nothing compares to it or can be out done by it and nothing will stop people in their pursuit of it either.
Age holds no accountability with romantic love. A man or women can be smitten with overwhelming romantic love at any time and any stage in life. No one ever loses the appetite and desire for it.
 This holds hope and intrigue within its grasp, a magical meeting of souls in a symphony of euphoric spiritual symmetry, paradise beyond expression in words.
Ultimately our very physical beings were inspired by romantic love on some level.  This life giving force that often comes hand in hand with romantic love imbues it with subtle supernatural powers pregnant with the potential for creation.
All the dimensions of love are essential to our very existence from the maternal love to friendship love, but none captures the hearts and imaginations more than the romantic love.
 Romantic love’s powerful position cannot be challenged with education or the power of our minds to understand it .
Love is our spiritual master and we can’t help but trifle with it, even when knowing we are but clay in its hands, but it cannot be denied and its transformative powers are often beautiful to witness.
Romantic love is the author of creation itself and for this act alone it deserves respect and honour in my opinion.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

THE MIRACLE OF LOVE AND CORRIE TEN BOOM

Love in its very nature is miraculous, it is self sacrificing, love also unconditionally forgives, is always patient and kind, love does not discriminate and love knows no boundaries of race or religion.
Nothing is more intrinsic to survival than a mother’s love.
 A bond that never breaks, even long after the seed is blossomed, it is never truly abandoned to the force of the wind.
Love is also a creative force and the seal of love in marriage and in family ensures life always continues to exist in this world.
Love also self propagates ,  love inspires other acts of love in return and breaks the power of evil in one blow and harmlessly.
Love is wisdom in of itself and nothing makes more sense than it or can defeat it.
Love is also characteristically powerful when it comes to defeating hate, as hate only comes with unforgivness and the very nature of love is forgiving.
One story of love and its power is that of Corrie Ten Boom.

Corrie Ten Boom was a watchmaker’s daughter in the time of Nazi Germany in world war two.
 When the Nazis began their oppression of the Jews in Germany Corrie and her family began making preparations to build a secret room in their house as a refuge for the persecuted people.
 She had previously worked with disabled and handicapped children which Hitler believed served no function and should be exterminated along with the Jews and the gypsy tribes.
 In rebellion to the barbaric system of the new dictatorship Corrie Ten Boom worked secretly with resistance groups. One of these was  a group of young men who stole German uniforms and kidnapped Jewish babies from orphanages where they were to be murdered. Corrie Ten Boom then helped to find each one a loving home amongst the community and guarded each child with her very life.
 She and her family were Christians who sought God and demonstrated love in every area of their life.
 Later she met one of the precious babies she saved at two weeks old and he was so touched by her peace and love he converted to Christianity when he was 40 years old and met her for the first time.
The Ten Boom’s successfully managed to hide many families but they were eventually caught by the Gestapo and put in prison where Corrie and her family faced being shot for the large number of people they had concealed.
As food was rationed they had needed to accumulate ration books in order to feed all the people they were hiding, and this had conspired against them along with the fact they were openly Christian and Christianity is based in Judaism in the Old Testament. They also had an almost open house and regularly entertained resistance fighters, Corrie Ten Boom and her family believed strongly in helping everyone they could and they did it with a generosity of spirit that radiated strongly in a callous dark world. Their light was certainly not kept under a bushel and it would be hard not to notice it.
 The Nazis on becoming suspicious sent a spy to pretend he was a Jew in need of help. He met with Corrie Ten Boom and begging her help said he desperately needed a considerable sum of money to escape and to help other Jews to do the same.
The Nazis lay in wait as he returned to the Ten Boom residence that night, on the signal of him being received at the door and handed the money poor Corrie had set about scraping together all day, the Nazis ambushed, the slippery spy received the money Corrie had painstakingly collected to help him in the first place and kept it as payment for his complicity in the set up and he slunk off into the night with his ill gotten gains.
 This very act served to convict her of conspiracy to help Jews.
They brutally tore the house apart looking for other Jews and 30 people were arrested. Many of them were German resistance fighters but they couldn’t find the special secret room which was behind a brick wall in Corrie Ten Boom’s room and was cleverly concealed.
4 Jews and 2 resistance workers were saved and remained unfound in the bricked up room within the apartment which still stands to this day and serves as a museum, but sadly Corrie and her sister were eventually sent to Ravensbruke concentration camp where 97,00 women died or were killed. Corrie Ten Boom would make sure they did not die quietly at Ravensbruke and be forgotten...
Her father died after 10 days in a hospital corridor as he was already a very old man and Corrie and her sister were beaten cruelly to extract details of other Jewish hideouts or fellow conspirators, they gave the Gestapo nothing which ended up resulting in her sister being so badly beaten it left her deaf for the rest of her short life.
On arriving at the camp, people were stripped naked and had their heads shaved. The Nazis used the human hair to sell to factories that made mattresses. Other grotesque ideas for the raw materials of human slaughter included the use of human bones to make sculptures,  one included three human leg bones and a pelvis to substitute a chair and this was found in the attic of a Nazi leaders family home beside a lampshade made of human skin.
 Corrie was horrified at the women who were starving and being beaten by their Nazi tormentors. and the shame of being naked was a terrible thing for her. Thankfully she was unaware of the horrors I just described or the fate that lay ahead for them both.
The dehumanisation began with having all their clothing taken and replaced with uniform rags and then there was the squalor and filthy conditions they were to live within.
While people starved to death of malnutrition the guards who were young men and women frolicked in the fields with picnics and cameras taking pictures, the photographs were found later in the camps by troops that came to liberate them and they were shocked to see how happy these guards looked and how normal looking young women could oversee such a sinister reality and not appear affected by it.
People were treated like cattle and it appears the dehumanisation of the victims aided their captors who became like butchers in a slaughter house with no feelings of compassion for their fellow human beings.   The propaganda machine had worked and they thought the jews were beneath them and were akin to animals who had to be culled.
 Betsy Ten Boom when amidst the suffering remained strong however and she remained firm in her beliefs and adamant there was a reason for everything and that God was still in control.
  Camps were housing three times as many people as they had been built to house and there was horrendous overcrowding.
All they were given to eat was a watery soup and one thin papery piece of bread, as the malnutrition set in people were more prone to disease and the slightest virus or cold would sweep through the hundreds of tightly packed women and many simply died of the terrible conditions without the need of gas chambers.
 They had managed to sneak a small bible into the camp and they used it to comfort the women and speak of God’s love and demonstrate their own.
 Corrie explains her sister Betsy had been thankful to God even for the fleas as this ensured the Nazi guards would not enter the tightly packed prison room for fear of disease and the infestation. This in turn allowed her to give the women hope in her bible lessons. The Bible she was using was contraband and she would have had it taken from her and told to stop if the guards had ever caught her were they willing to come near.
Betsy and Corrie then made plans about when they were free how they would communicate to the world all they had seen and experienced in the camp with the women and how God {they believed } had sent them amongst the women  to show and prove he cared and even in the darkest place he sent his love.
 Betsy and Corrie continued to help the women overcome spiritually in their material agony and find comfort in the wonders that were confirmed to them.
Betsy was very tender with the young girls especially ones who had come into Ravensburke as gypsy prostitutes and were shunned by the others who thought them the lowest of the low.
Betsy would hug them when they were cold and lonely at night and care for them in a motherly way to ensure they were not utterly rejected by everybody in the whole world.
Tragically, just one week before Corrie Ten Boom was released her sister died of malnutrition and disease.
Corrie’s release was a catastrophic failure on the Nazis part as she was one determined individual who would go on to expose all their atrocities including those they did in the most secret places where they thought nobody would find out.
It was a blunder in paperwork that freed her and later she found out that every other person there had died in the gas chamber shortly after she had gone. The Nazis had killed everyone left in the camp but somehow she had miraculously escaped.

On leaving Ravensbruke Corrie went to the world with her stories of Christian love and charity in respect of her sister’s memory and touched many souls. The most remarkable part in all of this however was when Corrie was preaching on love one day in the free world after the war.
An elderly man approached her and thanked her for the words she had given, as she turned to look at who had been addressing her she recoiled in shock as she recognised the facial features of one of the tormentors who had viciously beaten her dead sister even when she had been ill in the concentration camp.
 This aging man had said he was now a Christian and he had tracked her down to ask her forgiveness.
Corrie said she could not do it as this had been the cruellest of the prison Nazi guards who had shown no mercy at all to her own dear, sweet and kind sister. She had thought she could have forgiven him then had it only been her who had endured the cruelties of this man but to have seen her sister suffer too was too much to ask of her in her own strength.
He had played a heavy part in their misery and suffering perpetrating the most sadistic acts in an intimate and personal way.
Over agonising prolonged periods where they endured forced labour with no food this man had beaten, threatened and humiliated both of them on many occasions.
Tormented Corrie said she bowed her two knees and asked God to give her the strength to do it.
 The next day she forgave the man verbally and as she did so she felt a weight come off from her shoulders spiritually and she was set free from the bitter hate that she had been carrying since the deaths of her father and sister. Corrie maintains the conversion to being able to forgive him as miraculous and freeing for everyone involved.
Now instead of being caught up in remembering and avenging the last moments of her sisters life she was free to remember the good memories of all the other years she had spent  with her and was no longer in bondage to the monsters of her past.
 In forgiving the man she had cut not only him free, but also herself and she no longer felt tied to the past or the need to get revenge.
Corrie demonstrated perfect love and in actively loving everyone she came into contact with.
Corrie had loved her dear sister and bore with her in her pain, she also demonstrated a love for God when she honoured her faith and most incredibly of all she was able even to love her enemies which in turn helped her to love herself and because of this she manifested all the more acts of love from the abundance within  her soul.
 Corrie Ten Boom went on to preach about forgiveness and told this story to the whole world.
She also travelled extensively and gave many appearances on television and in person around the world.
 Corrie Ten Boom is in heaven now after living into ripe old age.
 As Corrie Ten Boom continued to tell the story relentlessly and saw its great significance, I also think it is an important part of history we should not forget and I pay tribute to her bravery and strength of spirit in writing this.
 As she pursued the telling of it out of love for her sister, I too will tell their story in love and honour of both of them.
 It seems sometimes it takes grey storm clouds to reveal colourful rainbows and the beauty of the moon is reflected more beautifully in the blackness of a mirroring lake.
 Sometimes we get a glimpse of the magical that like the reflection of the moon in the water cannot be grasped with our hands and should instead just remain perceived by that part of us that is not physical and neither can be grasped, yet still it is and remains, like the moon, sometimes revealed and other times hidden.
All things good and evil seem to play a part in the world and we can’t always discern the meaning immediately of events nor can we see the pattern of the many interwoven threads of a tapestry while we look on the underside.
Corrie Ten Boom is a perfect demonstration and embodiment of love and I am blessed to be able to have the joy of telling her journey of personal triumph over staggering odds and I believe it should be paid tribute to and kept alive as it holds lessons that should not be forgotten.
 Many tears were shed and lives lost to bring these events to fulfilment and leave us and future generations with a nugget of truth and the wisdom of love that is revealed in her story.
Written by Margaret Munoz 
January 2012

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Story about my Miscarriage and the general failings of the NHS

I was lying on the bathroom floor when my husband found me in a pool of blood.
I was just 7 weeks pregnant but the bleeding was horrific.
 It had started with cramps that after noon . 
I had gone to lie down in my bed and I think if I am honest I had an instinct about it. I had risen from my bed and was sitting on the toilet when suddenly rivers of blood and huge clots had fallen from me. I remember the most awful feeling of nausea a strange intense pain and then my vision clouding over with sparkly lights, [not unlike standing up too quickly when you are in a hot bath but 100 times stronger] in pain and overwhelming fear.  The blood just wouldn’t stop so I slipped from the toilet to the floor and screamed for my husband Alberth to come and phone an ambulance.
 I felt with every heart beat the blood flowing and with the blood went my strength. The most horrible thing is I was completely aware and feeling everything and there was no relief from the helplessness and fear I was going to die.
 Two ambulance men arrived and I was painfully aware this was just a job to them. They were not comforting me at all and were asking me to stand up and put a sanitary towel on as at this point I was covered in blood on the floor , I was later to find out they estimated I had lost a litre and a half of blood and that was only  while I was in hospital. 
The quantity women lose in a miscarriage is so great because the womb is full of blood vessels and when it contracts its just like a massive cut that pumps blood with every heartbeat.
They were getting impatient with me and telling me to stand up. In my heart I was wanting to do everything they asked me and I felt frightened because it was impossible. As soon as I stood up {my husband tells me my lips were blue and my face was grey} I passed out and fell to the floor but the relief was only temporary as when I came round again they continued to be exasperated with me and told me I had to walk.
 I was crying by this point because they didn’t understand I was doing my best and my husband was there trying to comfort me but was in shock himself. He later told me he thought I was going to die and the bathroom looked like a murder scene with pints of blood splashed on the seat floor and even the walls where I had tried to get up again. 
    Eventually they let me crawl to the front door then they lifted me up because I was taking too long and threw me in a wheel chair. The wheelchair was awful because my every instinct was telling me to lie down and while I bump, bump, bumped down the path the pain and fear were so intense but they had no idea or were not interested, their unspoken thoughts were just to get me to comply and get me to a hospital quickly. As soon as I was sitting up directly the blood pumped faster and harder and that was intensely painful and terrifying. I was so glad to lie in that hospital bed in the ambulance. I arrived at the hospital and they put me in a bed and started working on me.
 I have a phobia of needles so they started to get impatient too and quite bluntly told me if they didn’t get the IV in and take blood immediately to discern my blood group I could die. This matter of fact bluntness shocked me when I thought about it afterwards as it was not what I needed to hear . I am now aware of how prevalent the attitude is of complete unwillingness to understand pain and fear , they just want to do their job and I was expected to just shut up and let them, even though they were doing it badly.
 4 times they let a student nurse stab into my veins with no success. {When I  left I had been injected 6 times in one arm with bruises at each site and 4 times in the other arm, I also had bruises that completely covered both hands where they had eventually got blood from }. I had lost so much blood already it took them 20 minutes to get the sample and I felt every drop of it. Next thing they did was give me an internal exam and it was awful as I was still gushing blood, then to my horror she produced a giant syringe and inserted this into my vagina and drew back the plunger. Of course this started the hemorrhaging again. There were five staff around me at this point who were writing notes and doing things. The sheets beneath me were saturated in blood so they ripped them off from under me and remade the bed with me in it. The pile of sheets in the corner along with four white blankets that had been under me in the ambulance gave a grisly testimony to the state I was in. Suddenly I felt myself pass something and the doctor picked it up and took it to the side. When I asked what it was she told me it was the baby, so I asked if I could see it.
 She brought over what looked like a small chicken fillet. It was about 7cm wide round and cloudy, the whole pregnancy was intact and I couldn’t really see the baby inside, however I could see a small dark form but it wasn’t very big considering the amount of blood loss it had caused.
  An hour had gone by and I was still in the same condition so I was rushed to the theatre. In there they lay me on a weird contraption that I don’t think many people get to, or would want to see.
 I was supported at the neck with a clamp and the bed was narrower than my body was. The surgical light was looming above me and there were lots of people around me, I remember thinking God I hope it is Jesus I see on the other side of that thing , I did not think I was going to wake up again.
  As they injected me with the drug to put me to sleep I remember all the pain and fear leaving me and it was like falling on a bed of cotton wool.
The taste of it just reached my nose and mouth when I fell under.
 They gave me a DNC and I awoke crying and talking rubbish to the nurses.
After an operation the nurses woke me up when I was still drunk with the drugs they gave me and even now I’m still embarrassed thinking about it.
 I am a very sensitive person and I feel a lot which is a great source of torment for me but it does make me empathetic to other people
I apologized for being a nuisance and explained I was just terrified.
 There was only 1 nurse through all of that who actually cared about my feelings and it was in the operating theatre I met her.
 I will be forever thankful for that nurse. People in hospitals have nothing comforting to say a lot of the time and although this nurse might not have been the doctor who saved my life, I will be forever grateful to her.
 My husband had not been able to come because we have an 8 year old child.
 I recovered from my hellish ordeal fairly quickly but it will be forever etched in my subconscious. 
 Nurses and doctors could benefit from doing a small section in their training to do with psychology as stress can effect a persons recovery and it is a scientific fact that patients who are suffering from depression are more likely to die. { this was the conclusion of a survey who assessed people who were having cancer treatments}. 
Mental health issues appear to be being disregarded in the general hospitals which is crazy considering the massive bill for mental health treatments in our country. Support just is not offered at the moment after miscarriage and considering the bereavement involved , it is not taken seriously enough, women are left to deal with it alone until full blown clinical depression sets in, which could have been avoided if the issue had been dealt with from the beginning. 
 It really is not that difficult to say a few encouraging words and it is so sad that this lack of empathy is so prevalent in emergency rooms and hospitals. This being said, the ones who do take the time to remember their not treating a piece of meat, shine like stars in a dark sky all the more for it.
People in general are not usually aware of how dangerous pregnancy can be, maybe my experience here will shed some light on the reality of it.
 Young women need to enter in to pregnancy with full knowledge of what can happen, maybe there wouldn’t be so many unwanted pregnancies if they knew the risks involved. 
Men should learn as well so they can appreciate what a gift it is for a woman to give him a child and so they can care for their partners should it happen.
 Most people don’t like to share their personal experiences in depth like this but even if its only by being able to explain a similar event, that might bring comfort to someone in knowing their not alone in their tragic loss.
 Another inhumane practice that’s found in women’s wards is putting miscarriages in with pregnant and nursing mothers.
 We seem to be missing the point entirely if we don’t see mental health as important in recovery, surely it wouldn’t cost that much for them to be separate?
 I understand the reasoning behind miscarriages being together with pregnancy as they are both related to that area of the body but it is blatantly insensitive I think.
 Another problem is when after bleeding they take women alone to be scanned. From my personal experience after having two of the above, It is a gut wrenching feeling to be waiting for the heartbeat to appear alone.
 Small changes need to be made that would make a big difference.
 Hopefully my story might help to highlight some questions that should be being asked and then we can all rest assured we will be emotionally and physically safe should it happen to us or our loved ones.
Happily I did have a healthy baby. His name is Daniel Andres  and he is a constant source of enjoyment for me and his doting father Alberth. We both love him dearly and celebrate each of his little achievements individually. He loves playing up to the camera and his dad does regular video logs which everyone can see at the address below. 

Written by Margaret MG 33 years 

"Think twice about who you share a car with" Says crash teen


A brave Ayrshire teenager named Sophie Bryce continues to have ongoing surgical treatments to rebuild her face after an horrific car crash involving three other people.
After receiving 83 stitches a fractured nose, cheekbone and collapsed eye socket, Sophie [16 ] still faces more surgery to readjust the metal plate inserted by doctors to mend her eye socket. 
Although the young girl still struggles with enduring the scarring the accident left her with, she has chosen to share her story in a bid to warn others and prevent the same scenario repeating itself.
Sophie Bryce and her best friend charlotte Forsyth also 16[who also suffered stitches and whiplash after the crash] had been driving around Ayrshire with friends Andrew Abraheart 20 and the driver  Junior Taylor 19.
 Taylor  receiving 9 stitches in a headwound and Abraheart fracturing his shoulder, when they crashed after overtaking too fast and hitting a dip in the road in their silver Peugeot 106 on the Maybole road in Ayrshire on the 29th of June 2010 . 
 Sophie had tragically undone her seatbelt after dropping her phone and highlights the importance of wearing a seatbelt at all times during a journey. 
Sophie wants to share her story with her peers revealing how it can happen, and did happen in the blink of an eye.
 Thankfully Sophie doesn’t remember the impact clearly and explains how her clothes had to be cut from her body while medics worked for 4 hours stabilising her condition. 
With her family and best friend visiting her in hospital, she pulled through an accident that could easily have been fatal. 
The emotional pain would prove to be another trauma as her face was disfigured with coarse grey stitches.
 The mirror in her hospital room was covered with a towel immediately after she regained conciousness, but she would have to face a full two long days of having the stitches painfully removed when the wound healed and then a lifetime ahead of having to wear heavy make up to conceal the red scar tissue. 
 When most of us would be lost in pain and fear, Sophie recalls being worried her “pa pa” would be angry with her for being there, she was also worried about the blood loss scaring her mum.
 Although the perpetrator of this accident was well above the drink drive limit and had no insurance and driving with just a PRIVISIONAL LISCENCE, he escaped with just a £580 fine that would not even cover the cost to the tax payer in medical bills. 
Sadly it is Sophie Bryce who will experience the true cost of his recklessness.
Perhaps its her pragmatic approach to things that’s enabled her to cope with it so well as she works hard in a coffee shop in Ayr, bravely facing the public every day. She also studies at Ayr College with plans to eventually join the army in the nursing core. 
  Crosshouse hospital issue Sophie with two different foundations to cover her face with and they do the trick very well but she still has to face another operation in July 2011.
 As a deterrant Sophie wants people to see her photographs, read her story and think twice about who you share a car with.
 I commend her for seeking to make her voice heard so we all can learn from her.


Written by Margaret  MG
















Written by Margaret  MG